


Remember, Please

by Kyuhaii



Category: Haikyuu!!, Tsukkiyama - Fandom, haikyuu
Genre: Angst, KageHina - Freeform, Love, M/M, daisuga - Freeform, memoryloss, poortsukki, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:43:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyuhaii/pseuds/Kyuhaii
Summary: The Yamaguchi forgetting Tsukki au that nobody asked for.-So yeah. This is a story of Tsukkishima helping Yamaguchi regain his memories, and the other characters helping him along the way.There will be a ton of angst and definitely not enough fluff to make up for it, but I hope you give it a read!





	1. Chapter 1: Prologue

When you're dependent on somebody, it's hard to go back to life without them. You know, you know that life went on perfectly well without them before but suddenly, it doesn't appeal to you. It's like tasting a fruit so delicious that it becomes your favourite, only to find out that you are horribly allergic to it.  
Well, they both aren't exactly on the same level, but it's the same idea.  
If Tsukkishima Kei were to be completely honest, he wouldn't mind it all that much if he suddenly became allergic to strawberries. He liked blueberries too, so it was fine. He would also not mind if he loses his love for dinosaurs because there will always be another thing to love.  
But Yamaguchi? Tsukkishima would mind very much if he lost him, because Yamaguchi isn't someone that can be easily replaced. The attention, the love, the care he shows Tsukkishima are not mere actions of affection that are easily disregarded.  
That's why Tsukkishima's world broke down when Yamaguchi looked at him and asked him who he was, as if they hadn't grown up and endured so much together. As if they weren't lovers, but mere acquaintances.  
Tsukkishima felt his heart shatter when Yamaguchi lost his memory; forgot him. 

"So... it's temporary?" Tsukkishima asked carefully, looking through the small window in the door at the sleeping male, oblivious to the inner turmoil the boyfriend he didn't remember was going through.  
"Somewhat. There is a good chance Yamaguchi-kun will regain his memories even if it will take time. However, we cannot rule out the possibility that he won't gain his memories back. Both are very possible scenarios." The doctor told him, and Tsukkishima nodded his head as he was forced to accept the reality. Yamaguchi may never remember him at all.  
"Then, how can I help in getting his memories back?" He blurted out, the desperation that clawed at his insides making him lose his cool.  
"Well, you can talk about your memories with him, or maybe you can take him to places he used to go to. Anything that will get his brain thinking about his forgotten memories, really." The doctor replied, before walking away when a nurse called out to him frantically.  
Tsukkishima leaned against the wall, letting out a large, shaken sigh.  
He could get through this. For both Yamaguchi and him.


	2. Chapter Two: Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... angst

Both Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi walked towards the apartment, Tsukkishima taking the keys out as he did so.   
The taller boy had to keep himself from sighing heavily, a habit he had come to develop whenever he found himself in an awkward decision.   
Now, while it is true that the situation could not be avoided due to Yamaguchi's lack of memories, Tsukkishima never expected the air between them to be awkward to such an extent.   
It was suffocating, overwhelming Tsukkishima to the point where all he wanted was to leave and escape. He couldn't do that, though; he would never leave Yamaguchi alone.   
Even if said boy was causing him pain.   
"Here we are," Tsukkishima announced, opening the door and beckoning Yamaguchi in. The boy entered hesitantly, glancing at the taller boy before settling his bag down on the floor. Tsukkishima huffed, glad that he at least seemed better than during the trip back.   
The train ride had been... unpleasant, in gentle terms. So -basically-, it was terrible.   
Over the years, both he and Yamaguchi had - even before becoming boyfriends- slowly built up a solid and stable friendship. Teasing remarks were thrown around when Tsukkishima felt like it, and both knew Tsukkishima never meant it when he told Yamaguchi to shut up; doing it more to hear Yamaguchi apologise in the endearing manner he always did.   
And even before they became close friends, not even the first few minutes of their friendship could compare to how awkward the train ride had been.   
Yamaguchi had- well, it was like his first official volleyball match all over. He was literally shaking beside Tsukkishima, stuttering out incoherent sentences when the taller asked if he was alright.  
He had even almost full out hit Tsukkishima's face in panic when the blonde offered to carry his bag, arms flying around as he refused.   
Now though, he seemed calmer than before, and Tsukkishima gestured to the couch while he took a nearby stool and faced it. He watched as Yamaguchi sat himself down on the seat slowly and couldn't help himself but think about the way Yamaguchi normally sprawled himself unceremoniously on the couch.   
"So I think we have to... go through some things," Tsukkishima said, pushing his glasses up, "First off, we are- uhm, we are both orphans, and I'm sort of your closest thing to a family, so I signed your release papers. We are both 18, so third years, at Karasuno High School. We play volleyball too, I will probably introduce you to the members tomorrow when we get to school. We are still 18, so we are being funded by the government but it's still a small amount, so we share the same room. If you're uncomfortable, I can take the couch. Okay, any questions?"   
Tsukkishima felt like he had ran a marathon, never having spoke for such a long duration. Well, he normally wouldn't need to in Yamaguchi's presence; normally one look was enough.   
He glanced at Yamaguchi, who was shaking his head insistently. He forced back the small smile wanting to appear on his lips because Yamaguchi was just so cute. He pointed towards the direction of the bedroom before announcing he was going to shower. He asked if Yamaguchi needed to take one as well, but was told that he had already done so in the hospital.   
Grateful to get away from everything, Tsukkishima had never... never welcomed the solitude so much. Never had he wanted to escape being with Yamaguchi as much as he had before.   
He took his glasses off, finally letting the stoic mask that he had painfully kept on the whole day slip, lazily stripping himself of his clothes before running a hand through his hair. He leaned his head on the wall infront of him as the water hit his back, before slowly reaching for the soap.   
He hated showering alone. In the past, it was because he was afraid of the orphanage bathroom; the older kids having scared him into believing that a human eating ghost resided there. He would drag Yamaguchi along to the toilet while making excuses on how it would waste less water, though he knew the green haired boy never believed him.   
Even when they moved out of the orphanage at 16 for better access to the school, Yamaguchi continued showering with him. It was natural, it was them. A shower without Yamaguchi was something Tsukkishima didn't like at all.   
But now, there was only Yamaguchi and Tsukkishima, and the latter was having a hard time standing the loneliness. Yamaguchi should be scrubbing his back, Yamaguchi should be teasing him about shampoo getting into his eyes, Yamaguchi should-  
Tsukkishima stopped his train of thoughts, drying himself and putting on the set of clothes he had brought with him. Wrapping the towel around his neck, he opened the door, only to see Yamaguchi in his own pyjamas, probably having sorted out which fashion sense belonged to whom by sense.   
He was looking at the pictures hanging from the walls, all of both him and Tsukkishima together. Most were Yamaguchi smiling enough for both of them while Tsukkishima looked away from the camera, his arm around the shorter's shoulder.   
"We are- were close, right?" Yamaguchi asked, a small smile on his lips. Tsukkishima nodded mutely, about to head towards the bedroom when Yamaguchi's next question stopped him.   
"What was our relationship like?"  
"..."  
"Tsukkishima?"  
At the use of his full name, it finally did it for him. It was like a stamp, to officially make it clear that yes, nothing was the same, and that he would be feeling this ache in his chest for a long time to come.   
With a forced smile, he turned to face Yamaguchi.   
"The best of friends; brothers, even. Nothing more, nothing less."  
Yes, Tsukkishima could keep it to himself. He will harbour the pain, because he knew telling Yamaguchi the truth would only make him feel guilt he didn't deserve to feel.   
Tsukkishima will never let that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! Have not been able to write anything satisfactory so I hope this is alright! Next chapter will be a flashback chapter, so gear up for fluff


	3. Chapter Three: Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback with fluff fluff and a tiny bit of angst

Tsukkishima's earliest memory was of his family. Both his parents and older brother, looking down at him with huge smiles on their faces. He couldn't for the life of him remember what exactly they were so happy about, but he knew that he himself was smiling as well.   
He remembered reaching up for his brother's hand and grasping tightly, giggling as he swung it slightly. He remembered his older brother ruffling his hair, his parents cooing fondly at them.   
The second earliest memory Tsukkishima had was of him reaching desperately for his brother's bloodied hand. The car they had was overturned, and he couldn't see his parents. He didn't understand what had just happened. One moment he was squeezing his brother's face into a fish face, and the next he felt his body flying through the air, landing on his back painfully.   
He had lain there for a while, body twitching in pain, until he heard his brother call his name softly. He turned his head with difficulty, only then noticing that his brother had landed near him. His brother had looked at him, a weak smile on his face as blood ran down it, moving his hand and reaching out for Tsukkishima. Tsukkishima did the same, moving his arm with all the energy he had.   
"It's... okay. An ambulance will-" his older brother coughed, cutting himself off. Tsukkishima's eyes widened as he saw the blood that spurred out of his older brother's mouth.   
"An ambulance... an ambulance will come. Y-you will be okay, so don't fall asleep, okay, Kei?" His older brother panted, hand finally touching Tsukkishima's. He locked their fingers together, squeezing gently.   
"A-Akiteru-nii-" and then, Tsukkishima stopped. The hand in his had grown limp, his older brother's head falling to the floor and smile falling from his lips. Tsukkishima's bottom lip quivered. He tugged on his older brother's hand, growing more desperate with each time that his older brother just- didn't respond.   
He didn't- he didn't understand. His brother never ignored him, his brother could never! His older brother loved him, didn't he? He loved Tsukkishima, so why wasn't he answering the weak calls of his name that slipped through his younger brother's lips? Did he not know that Tsukkishima was so confused, so scared?  
Did- did he no longer love Tsukkishima?   
When Tsukkishima finally learnt that his brother - and his parents - had died, he had convinced himself that his brother had betrayed him; left him alone. At his young age, he took his brother's death as absolute confirmation for his theory, and he withdrew himself. 

Nobody really talked to Tsukkishima. It wasn't that they didn't try, it was just that said little blonde shut everybody out. The caretakers of the orphanage had tried to convince him to talk to the other children and play with them, give them a chance to show that they are good people.   
They didn't understand, though. If Tsukkishima could control it he would have done so already, because it was not like he liked being alone all the time. But... he couldn't.   
He didn't do it on purpose. It was like an instinct, ingrained into his body to not let anybody near him. He felt it deep within his heart, that one day everybody would leave. Leave him like his older brother had. Leave him because they no longer liked him.   
Leave him all alone.   
Eventually, even the caretakers gave up, and he was left by himself for a year. Never speaking unless absolutely necessary, which was close to never.   
And then one day, he arrived.   
Yamaguchi Tadashi was his name, apparently. The same age as Tsukkishima (aged 6) and with green hair. His face was adorned with freckles that the young Tsukkishima, from where he sat away from everybody, couldn't help but find absolutely adorable.   
It was because of this, that Tsukkishima didn't understand why, exactly, some other children from the orphanage was picking on the green head for it. He huffs, glancing at the clock as he willed himself to stay still. It had only been ten minutes, and already Yamaguchi Tadashi was already having to stand those people.   
Tsukkishima bit his lip as he watched one of the kids push Yamaguchi Tadashi to the floor. It was then that he snapped, pushing himself off the bench and walking towards the group, roughly squeezing his way between Yamaguchi Tadashi and the other kids.   
"Leave him alone," Tsukkishima said as menacingly as he could, though his voice cracked from underuse. The other kids' eyes widened in something akin to surprise and fear, before they took off running.   
While true that Tsukkishima never talked to others, everybody knew better than to get him angry, especially after he had punched an older kid two days into his stay because he had been abusing a cat.   
When the other kids had finally ran back into the house, Tsukkishima took one look at Yamaguchi Tadashi before turning around, walking towards the direction of said house.   
"U-uhm-! M-my name is Yamaguchi Tadashi, nice to meet you!" The green head almost yelled, bowing and causing Tsukkishima to stop. He blinked, before nodding once and turning around once more.   
"Tsukkishima Kei."

If there was anything Tsukkishima got from the encounter with Yamaguchi Tadashi, it was to never introduce yourself if you weren't planning on staying friends.   
Yamaguchi Tadashi just wouldn't stay away from him, no matter how many times he told him to. Funny thing was, Tsukkishima didn't seem to be the only one who found it weird.   
The caretakers and other kids have all tried to get Yamaguchi to give it up and make friends with other children, but Yamaguchi Tadashi was adamant about being friends with his 'Tsukki'.   
Tsukkishima sighed, ruffling his hair in a uncharacteristically frustrated manner, turning around to look at the now nervous looking boy.   
"Why, of all people, do you want to befriend me?" He asked with a resigned tone, settling himself down on the playground swing. He watched as the other boy tentatively sat on the other one, gripping the steel chains tightly.   
"B-because you saved me and- and that makes you a nice person," Yamaguchi Tadashi stuttered out, swinging his legs slightly. Tsukkishima furrowed his eye brows.   
"Me, a nice person? You must be crazy," Tsukkishima muttered, startling when Yamaguchi Tadashi leaped off the swing and was suddenly infront of him, shaking his head violently.   
"I'm not! You really are a nice person. No one's ever been so nice to me before!" He exclaimed earnestly, causing Tsukkishima to blush and push the other boy away, seeing how he had gotten close without realising it.   
Tsukkishima cleared his throat awkwardly, before deciding that he might as well resign himself to his fate.   
"Why are you here?" He asked. Yamaguchi brightened up a little, seeing an opportunity to talk, but not really wanting to broach the subject. Realising his mistake, Tsukkishima corrected himself.   
"U-um, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Uh- what do you like?"  
Just like that, the two boys sat in the playground for ages, talking about what they liked. Tsukkishima found out that Yamaguchi liked tacos and ice cream, but hated his freckles. Tsukkishima found out that Yamaguchi liked looking at the clouds and making sense of their shapes, but hated lying on the floor to see them.   
Tsukkishima also found out that Yamaguchi had a nice laugh and was a pretty nice person to be around; not that he would ever admit it.   
And, he also realised, that Yamaguchi had the capability to mess his plans up completely. 

Tsukkishima was in a huge dilemma. He stared at the time, eyes occasionally flashing towards the clothes in his hand. He could do it, he could do it, there was absolutely no such thing as a man eating ghost in the shower area-!  
Or maybe there was. What if it was waiting to ambush him? Pluck his limbs out and ate him slowly, letting him watch as his arms and legs were being chewed? Tsukkishima shivered at the mental images remembering the older kids' words had brought up, pouting slightly.   
Maybe he would just shower tomorrow. Not showering for a day shouldn't be that bad if it was to stop himself from dying, right? He can put up with one night of feeling dirty, can't he-?  
No, of course he couldn't! But then again, he couldn't just shower when there was the possibility of getting eaten just because he couldn't stand being unhygienic. What was he going to do, what was he going to-?  
Yamaguchi. Tsukkishima 'tch' slightly. Yamaguchi was the reason his schedule was so messed up. He normally made it a point to shower in the afternoon, but he had talked to Yamaguchi until it was dinner time. If Tsukkishima was going to die, Yamaguchi was going to die with him.   
He stomped out of his room, looking around until he found Yamaguchi, who too was holding his own clothes. He walked quickly towards the other, not minding the stares he got before he was all but dragging Yamaguchi to the toilet.   
"T-Tsukki?!" Yamaguchi yelped as Tsukkishima locked them both into the same washroom area. Tsukkishima blushed, person his lips.   
"T-this will save water and uh... time! Can't let the caretakers waste too much money, right? Haha..." Tsukkishima said, flustered. Yamaguchi merely smiled and nodded, not finding the need to tell Tsukkishima that the older boys had so kindly informed him of Tsukkishima's fear of showering at night.   
And this was how their friendship officially started.


	4. Chapter Four: Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukkishima has trouble with Yamaguchi sleeping

Tsukkishima shifted in his bed as his alarm rang, groaning. He grabbed the pillow under him and covered his ear with it while turning his head, hoping that it would drown the sound out but to no avail.  
Tsukkishima huffed, sitting up and blinking blearily as the alarm continued ringing. He looked around the room lazily, sight blurry as he scratched the back of his head. He patted at the bed - couch? - blindly before he finally found his phone, switching off the alarm.  
He was just about to reach over and wake Yamaguchi, stopping only when he was only touching air. He pursed his lips and clenched his fist. That's right.  
Yamaguchi had slept in the room and he had taken the couch. He stretched and grunted a little when he felt how stiff his back was. When both Yamaguchi and him had shifted to the apartment, they had agreed to share one bed because of money issues, though it's not like they really minded since they were dating. Now though, Tsukkishima's back had some complaints.  
Tsukkishima got up from the couch, reaching his full height before bending down to get his spectacles from the table. He yawned, making his way to the room to wake Yamaguchi.  
He couldn't help how odd it felt, not waking up next to Yamaguchi. He was used to having to grudgingly pull himself away from Yamaguchi's back, unwilling to separate from the cozy being called his boyfriend.  
Could Tsukkishima still call Yamaguchi that?  
He opened the door quietly, slowly making his way in. He smiled a little at the sight. Yamaguchi, was curled up, blanket covering him until all Tsukkishima could really see was the nest of green hair peeking from underneath. He chuckled a little, walking towards the super-single bed.  
He was about to start shaking Yamaguchi when he paused, hand hovering uncertainly before he pulled the blanket downwards a little. Tsukkishima smiled once again, this time bittersweetly.  
Yamaguchi was beautiful. He really, really was. The way the sunlight that made its way past the translucent curtains and reflected off Yamaguchi's eyelashes, the way he looked so pretty with all those freckles dotting his cheeks. The little smile that stayed on his lips even as he slept, lips that Tsukkishima really, really wanted to kiss.  
He let himself run his fingers through green hair even though he knew it could possibly wake Yamaguchi up, because he knew that he won't be able to do it everyday like he was used to. Softly, with his pointer finger, he traced the freckles and joined them up in his own constellations, loving them.  
When Yamaguchi began to stir, he breathed deeply and controlled himself, moving his hand to shake him.  
"T- Yamaguchi, wake up," he spoke, prodding the still sleeping boy a few more time.  
"I don't wanna~," Yamaguchi whined, rolling away from Tsukkishima's touch and burying his face in the pillow. Tsukkishima blinked, heart doing flips.  
The exact same reaction. This was really not good for Tsukkishima's heart.  
"Come on, we have morning practice," he urged, poking at the green-hair's side until he huffed, sitting up on the bed too quickly, having to clutch his head as he did so.  
"Practice?" He questioned, humming as he scratched at his head, before lighting up with a "Ah, volleyball practice, right?"  
Tsukkishima nodded once, not able to tear his eyes off the grin that had settled itself onto Yamaguchi's face, wanting so desperately to just kiss it and-  
Tsukkishima had to stop his thoughts as he watched Yamaguchi stumble off the bed and towards the toilet.  
He had to stop. 

"It's Yamaguchi and the Captain!"  
Tsukkishima tsked at the loud voice of Hinata who, after the first and second year of high school, had grown louder in his third. The other members of the now huge volleyball team looked up, greeting both Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi.  
Tsukkishima heard Yamaguchi stammer a greeting, a few of the underclass men laughing good-naturedly.  
"Hinata, shut up," he deadpanned, before remembering what it was that he needed to do. Taking a deep breath, he called for Kageyama, his vice-captain.  
"Oi King, come over here for a moment," he called out, amusing himself with the tick that formed on Kageyama's forehead.  
"H-he doesn't look too happy," Yamaguchi pointed out, hiding behind Tsukkishima as the setter advanced. Tsukkishima scoffed, shaking his head.  
"He can be unhappy for all he wants. He gives me a headache everyday anyways," he said loudly, smirking when Kageyama seemed even more pissed off.  
"You bastard, I told you to stop calling me that two years ago!" Kageyama growled, though there was no real animosity in his words. Over the two years, they had slowly formed a somewhat decent relationship with each other, though they could never fully rid themselves of the name-calling.  
"Yes, yes, I get you," Tsukkishima drawled, placing his bag on the floor and sighing, "Yamaguchi, this is Kageyama, my vice-captain. Kageyama, Yamaguchi."  
Kageyama blinked, looking at Yamaguchi with a constipated face (it's just his confused face he poor guy).  
" 'Yamaguchi'? And I already know him, I'm not such as idiot," Kageyama frowned, thinking that Tsukkishima was making fun of him. The taller just sighed and shook his head. He was about to speak when Yamaguchi stepped forward.  
"I- I lost my memory and- and I don't remember you so... Please look after me!" He said loudly, gaining the attention of the whole gym as he bowed towards Kageyama, who grew flustered.  
"Wait, what- hold on- what?" He asked dumbly, mouth moving but seemingly unable to form a proper sentence.  
"Y-you lost your memory?!" Came a high-pitched voice, and suddenly Yachi was all but crashing into Yamaguchi, reaching up and grabbing his head, pulling him down.  
"What happened?! Oh my god there is a bump on your head!" She shrieked, turning to Tsukkishima, "What happened to him?!"  
Tsukkishima pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave a comment if you enjoyed this  
> >< If there are any scenes you want to see, do tell me! (Especially ideas for flashbacks)


	5. Chapter Five: Tsukkishima is Not Okay

"So he's-"  
"Yes, you shrimp. Yamaguchi is fine," Tsukkishima snapped, stretching his sports goggles and letting it hit the back of his head with a satisfying sound.   
Hinata had been relentless the whole few minutes Tsukkishima was in the gym. Question after question left his mouth, the next one almost always a repetitive of the one before. Kageyama was no help either, seeing as he himself was curious.   
"How about you, though," the vice-captain asked, making Tsukkishima stop mid-bounce, catching the volleyball in his hands.   
"What do you mean?" Tsukkishima tried, hoping desperately that his attempt of acting oblivious would be enough for Kageyama to see that he did not want to talk about it. Unfortunately for him, Kageyama never did grow smarter over the last two years.   
"You know what I mean. You guys were dating, weren't you? And now, you are calling him 'Yamaguchi' instead of 'Tadashi'. Not to mention, that tired look on your face makes you look even more pissed off than usual," Kageyama said, and Tsukkishima glared at him. A laugh broke their stare-off, and Tsukkishima turned towards the source of that beautiful, beautiful sound.   
Yamaguchi was sitting on the bench with Yachi, smiling and laughing and looking so much more comfortable with her in the few minutes they spent together as compared to the day spent with Tsukkishima. He breathed in harshly, immediately starting to bounce the ball once more to take his mind off things.   
"Tsukkishi-"  
"I'm okay, Kageyama. Really, I am."

-

"So I just let my body do the work?" Yamaguchi asked once more, brows furrowed as he looked at the volleyball. Tsukkishima took in the way that Yamaguchi's hands were holding it comfortably and felt something akin to hope rise in him.   
"Yes. Just throw the ball the way you feel like you should and then... Move your body however feels normal," Tsukkishima fumbled uncharacteristically, unsure on how exactly to explain to Yamaguchi what he wanted him to do. However, Yamaguchi just smiled and nodded his head, taking a deep breath before staring at the volleyball once more.   
He spun it once in his hand, Tsukkishima's heart skipping as it always did when Yamaguchi did it. The control he had of the ball, the look of focus in Yamaguchi's eyes... they were reasons Tsukkishima was in so deep.   
Tsukkishima watched with bated breath as Yamaguchi threw the all into the air and jumped, palm meeting it mid-air and sending it across the net to where Hinata and Kageyama were.   
The ball wavered.   
It hit the ground, despite both the other third-year's attempts to judge where it would fall.   
Tsukkishima let out the breath, turning towards Yamaguchi, who was looking at his own hands like they were magical.   
"W-what was that, Tsukkishima?" Yamaguchi asked, a sparkle to his eyes and a smile on his face that made Tsukkishima smile despite the twinge of his heart at the use of his full name.   
"That, Yamaguchi, is your jump float serve."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this is so short and that it took a long time. I wanted to post a more quality-filled chapter but things have been a little rough in the real world so it's a little hard for me to get motivation. (Comments make me happy *wink*) Hope you all have a nice day!


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